Ganbatte

favourite song right now ^^

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I've figured it out, I think.
The feeling is still the same: whenever I'm around the people here, I don't belong. I feel like I'm somewhere else. I have trouble fitting in...
I haven't been being me.

I've been so worried about what others think about me, and I swear I don't know how that started. It's a problem I've been facing for quite some time now, but it's come to a head here in California. This is the place I've wanted to be for so long; a place where I knew no one would care how you were, but I think I'd figured in my head somehow that fake people were gods here -- and a lot of them are, but if someone who would break if you dropped them on the ground is so highly praised, then how much more would a man of substance be praised, and loved? That's what I'm missing. Genuine Love.

So here I go. It's the end of a day, the end of the weekend, and the beginning of my work week, and I've got time, I've still got time to show everyone who I am. I don't have to worry about being perfect. I don't have to worry about impressing anyone, because they don't matter: what they don't like about me doesn't matter, because I'm me! So here I go.

Here I go, I'm going to show them who I am!