It's Been Some Time

This has been an interesting year. If I had not moved from California, I wouldn't be in the great city that is San Angelo (this sentence is seething with sarcasm, for those of you who don't know me).

There are positives to look at, however. The first of those being getting back into school for my second degree. I've also discovered what I want to do with my life, and am on track to fulfilling it. Finally, I decided this past winter that I want to learn about who I am.

I've stepped out of the closet and am securely standing in the parlor with a beautiful boyfriend. I don't know if this is the real me, but it's a me that I've chosen, and I think that's good enough for now.

Yes, I'm scared. I'm scared shitless, actually. I don't know what to do with myself, but I think that's what it's all about, isn't it? I'm pretty confident I'd be equally scared in a straight relationship. They're both new. New in the way that I haven't been serious about them before...

I think I just wanted to comment on the anxiety I have over the situation. It comes and goes, so it's not serious, I don't believe.

At any rate, here's to life.

Closing the Doors

You spent half of your life trying to fall behind
You're using your headphones to drown out your mind. -- Eet, Regina Spektor

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As a new decade and a new year begin, everyone stops to think about what just ended. Was the last year everything I wanted it to be? Was the last decade good for me; for my friends and family?

I'd like to think so. A lot happened. I went to high school, LA, 9/11, Sate Diving, met Nicholas, graduated, lost Nicholas, went to college and got a degree, moved to San Diego, moved to Abilene, became best friends with Jon, Sarah, Allison, and Adam, kayaked, moved to San Angelo, went back to college, changed my degree, got a promotion; and now here at the beginning of something new, I'm satisfied enough to decide to close a few doors.

I don't want to be burdened by wishful thinking of the past. Whether or not I'll accomplish such a feat is something I can't quite tell, but the mere fact of my acknowledging such a thing is grandiose in my life.
I will finish any book, and not just tell myself to finish the One Book.
I will pay off most all of my debt.

Those are my resolutions, and I will see them out.

I hope you all had a wonderful time, and that you were found home safe and sound when it was all said and done. I love you all, and I look forward to a brand new chance with you.

`koa