How I Feel Today

This is a bit of what I've written from my positional feelings...

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This land, mysterious to all but those who roamed there, was named by my friend, Eric and I, in our time of need. We wandered to and fro, not caring about who or what we would venture across, but about the land, and the lay of the land, and the things that that land held for us to use. And the things we could make from it! Oh, the things. What was there in life, but to want to live on your own and wander freely, and make your own living!

Things like that wouldn’t last for long. There was a time in my life when things went wrong. There was a time in my life when things weren’t as they should have been.

Living in my imagined solitude in the the Northern Country, I found solutions to the strangest of life’s quandaries. I found I held alone in my mind the inventions I needed to survive, and to make the world a better place! What need of the world as it was did I have, even then in 1998? Even then, at the end of a decade where the world around me had finally begun to find where it needed to go from such variety as previous decades proffered. At the end of a century of Change, of Revolution, of Death and Rebirth!

What need did I have of a life that was ready to live, and full of exciting change and discovery? I wouldn’t know until nearly five years later, but for now, there was a whole world in the wilderness of the American Backdoors; that indiscernible future that was feet from my front door! I could walk for only ten minutes and find myself in an a questionable reality I could only later hope for, for at that time, I hadn’t know that it existed in my everyday life as real as it was.

The Secret of My Youth

You talk too much, your life is safe in my hands! -- Drink With Me, Les Miserables

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Take this, an excerpt from a bit of free-writing...

This land, mysterious to all but those who roamed there, was named by my friend, Eric and I, in our time of need. We wandered to and fro, not caring about who or what we would venture across, but about the land, and the lay of the land, and the things that that land held for us to use. And the things we could make from it! Oh, the things. What was there in life, but to want to live on your own and wander freely, and make your own living!

Things like that wouldn’t last for long. There was a time in my life when things went wrong. There was a time in my life when things weren’t as they should have been.

Living in my imagined solitude in the the Northern Country, I found solutions to the strangest of life’s quandaries. I found I held alone in my mind the inventions I needed to survive, and to make the world a better place! What need of the world as it was did I have, even then in 1998? Even then, at the end of a decade where the world around me had finally begun to find where it needed to go from such variety as previous decades proffered. At the end of a century of Change, of Revolution, of Death and Rebirth!

What need did I have of a life that was ready to live, and full of exciting change and discovery? I wouldn’t know until nearly five years later, but for now, there was a whole world in the wilderness of the American Backdoors; that indiscernible future that was feet from my front door! I could walk for only ten minutes and find myself in an a questionable reality I could only later hope for, for at that time, I hadn’t know that it existed in my everyday life as real as it was.

200

I know it's only in my mind
And I'm talking to myself, and not to him... -- On My Own, Les Miserables

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I've seen posted about the internet in various places notes of seeming respect for people I've known, and quite honestly, it's a bit disgusting. Harsh as it may sound, I've got some backing; but to explain, these notes are small clippings from one person-or-another's private lives. Things they've "figured out" for themselves and he or she has taken it upon themselves (how righteous) to share with the rest of the belly-slithering populace what beautiful truths they've discovered! Truths about life, and themselves, and the State, and Love, and Tolerance... but what has really happened, is they're finally realising things a lot later than they should have, because they've been trapped in a box where each wall was a mirror, and so all that person knows is what they see, and damn, they look good.

I've dealt with a lot of this lately. In my life, I've come across quite a few people who aren't as emotionally or mentally advanced as me, and that sounds pious, I agree, but it's truth. I've always been more mature in many ways than my peers, and even than some of those ahead of me in years and experience. Everyone experiences things differently and at different times, and with different cross-references, but that doesn't mean you should block things out when they need to be learned, or something is right in front of your own face!

At this point, I want to say that I've got things to learn! I've got things I've not seen, and things I don't know, and I've got room to grow! But I'm willing to! That's the difference! I'm willing to see the diferences between people, and to accept them, whether I like them or not; I'm willing to move on past the trivial, and see what's more important, and that is Love, and Tolerance, and Life... and I'm willing to sacrifice my own for someone else... And that's a lesson we all should learn.

n

On My Own -- Les Miserables

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It'll have been one week, Friday since I bought an iPhone. I have alreay made one post with it (see previous) and I am quite pleased. There was only one spelling error on that one. The keyboard takes some getting used to, my thumbs aren't as pointy as some, but the auto-correct feature isn't off-skelter most of the time.

The reason I'm writing this is to keep you all avid readers in touch with what I've been doing and where I've been, and also to lament that iPhone's are by no means fool-hardy. Already I can see light emitting through a small bit of separation on my screen (where the volume keys are located on the side, on the face), and tomorrow I plan on taking it in for a quick check. Perhaps I will look into getting an Otter Case sooner than I anticipated; that too might be a wise investment.

At any rate I have been out, back and forth between home and San Angelo to get ready for an impending move. I know SA isn't abig city like I'm used to, but I am definitely ready for the "vacation" from all the people who think they know me where I am currently. I'll keep tabs on the whole process as it ... Progresses.

It's incredibly early as usual and I'm waiting outside work to get started. What's different about this foggy monday is that today is the day I tell my manager I'm leaving his store. I'm only a little nervous, but I think it'll go well.

I have been having strange dreams lately, but I've not been writing them down like I should. In last night's I wasdriving down the spur and listened to someone else as they told me to shoot at the person in front if me, so I shot 8 or 9 rounds out of a 9mm. That person stopped and shot back at me with a riffle, but left due to all my friends sitting around watching. I spent the rest off the dean worrying they'd find me.

A Hole in the Bucket

Everyone's at it... -- Lily Allen

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I dropped my computer yesterday. It hurt my heart. At the same time, I wasn't all too surprised. I'm rather clumsy when it comes down to it, and that was just another drop in the bucket. The hole comes in when I headed over to the nearest Best Buy and purchased a new Apple MacBook. Mad fat cash right there.

I'm happy with it, though, and it's everything I've ever wanted it to be. Interestingly enough, their programs are cheaper than Microsoft's, and more user friendly. So... here's to me being happy (if a little broke).

Wolverine, Origins

Cocaine in Montreal and back out on the plane, baby... -- Smoke Baby, Hawksley Workman

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I saw the new X-men Origins movie. I liked it. There were some questions it brought up though, and I'll say them now:

First, I didn't know that Emma Frost had a sister.
Second, I didn't realise Scott had been involved.
Third, I wondered why Emma didn't use her Telepathy, though I suppose she did learn more about that later from the Professor.
Fourth, I wanted a relief from the sexual tension between Sabertooth and Wolverine.
Fifth, and this isn't necessarily a complaint so much as a healthy note, sometimes the oversimplification of complicated plots can lend more to a show and storyline than anything else.
Sixth, William Stryker's future self (as portrayed in X3) is a lot different than in this movie... You don't understand why until the end, and that's all fine, but how did he get shorter?
Seventh, What happened to all the mutants left in cryogenic stasis?

If you haven't yet seen the movie by the time you read this, I'm sorry, just ignore the fact that I've said it all. However, if you are considering not seeing the movie on account of what I've said, please, do go see it. It's quite worthy of a movie; it is a small plug in the lifeline of the great X-MEN universe (albeit a whispy collection of cannon and non-cannon events).

On the whole, I enjoyed it, and found myself wanting more. Even if the overall solution to the complicated myriad plot-lines was a little... oversimplified. I've still yet to learn how cannon it all is. I'd like to think it is, though I'll be left to find the answer.