Summer Delight

She said, I might not be seein' him soon... I got a few things I been waiting' to do... Tori -- Mayer.

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It seems like it's been a long time since I actually got some sleep. Waking a few moments ago from a nap I had desperately needed, I feel surprisingly rested, all aside from the fact that I wanted to stay in bed (I need to be at work in about 45 minutes). I think it's one of the tensionless benefits you gain when you finally get out of debt.

I think I may have mentioned it about three months ago (if at all), but I'm finally out of debt. Seriously, this time. See, last time, I was out of a debt I had owed for the past two years, and then sadly, after that, my room mates left me with about 750 dollars to pay and disapeared. I'm here to finally say that I'm free from the web they wove me. And in a way, I wove it myself.

Brady has been telling me lately that there are so many things he's been through, but he's finally getting to the point where he can sit back and smile, and learn from it all rather than be bitter. *shrug*
I know that there are a lot of things I should be greatful for, and believe me when I say that it's been a long time coming, but you can't help but wonder and be crushed by the sheer weight of some of the things that I've been through over the past two years. *sigh*

Part of me can only shake my head. Sure, I know I've got my own signature on the contract to most all of these things, but some of them aren't so bad.

Anyway, how did I do it? Well, I had a garage sale today -- after selling lots of my possesions, including friendships and sleep at work trying to get the money. I've spent tons of time under-the-hole at the bank, but after this sale, I'm out. And I can't tell you how much it relaxes me.

But even at a garage sale, you find things to learn about. Things about responsibility, integrity, greed...
Seeing as I don't have much time to get ready for work, I'll have to leave that for another entry, if I remember. God bless you all.

Up and Down

Be in constant guard and meditation. It's easy to fall asleep, but when you do, do not be upset, just pick it up again. --myspace blog

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Ironic. I seem to know myself more than I could possibly guess at times. I know when I'm going to mess up, before it happens. I know that I'm going to be weak to the enemy. And here I say to those around me that they cannot let it bother them. Should it, though? If we... if I just ignore the fact that I slipped up, does that play to the enemy? Or does it make me strong in that I'm not dwelling on it, feeling guilty?

I wish that throughout the Bible, certain things would be addressed more clearly... Then again, I suppose if they were, would we really be in the same kind of religion we are in? In the freedom we have been granted, because everything is so... gray? *sigh* I'm hurt, and I continually pull of the scabs.

It's Been A Bit

Slade is... well, better. Up to his old antics, at least (i.e. drinking, swearing, et cetera...)

Dion was still in the Hospital last I checked. I visited him. There was a horrible scare over the past weekend, and it seemed that no one was doing well... long story. Anyway, as of Tuesday, this is the news. Thanks for all the prayer, and please don't stop. There are always things to petition about: government, wars, health, God moving, loved ones, ones we've lost... So keep it up. And, while you're at it, please pray for the family of Brady.

Recap

My first shift back in the bar was probably twice as hectic as my very first shift in there, and with half the profits all in one dollar bills. I've been working a lot lately, gaining stature where I've lost my ground. There are new faces around, and awkwardly enough, I'm appear to hold a the place in people's minds with the most say for someone who doesn't have any official titles (trainer and bartender aside). After all, you cannot argue very well with a mass whose minds are singular in who they go to for help -- and who they like. Not to brag, but it almost makes me want to go to the GM and say "shove it."

Topping all that off with some boiling hot watter poured on my foot ;], this has been a fun week.

More importantly, Slade is OK as far as yesterday, and Dion is healing quickly, so an ever-grateful thanks to those of you who stood the gap for their bodies.

"Intercede"

I have a friend who isn't doing so well. His name is Slade, and he has a kidney infection. Or two. It's unclear. But he's been sick for going on two weeks now, and I, for one, feel a little bothered. I don't know the stats for this sort of sickness, but I'd rather not find out first hand.

So if you pray, please do so. Just take out a few minutes of your day And pray for him; that God would heal him, and that God would receive full glory for it.

Also, while you're praying, do so for this guy, too. -- myspace blog

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I don't know much about Dion (the second guy), or about Slade -- outside of worklife, but I do know that these are some amazing guys who have known the work of the Lord whether it was obvious at the time or not. So please, just take a few minutes; who knows, in a personal way, it could be that spark you're looking for to relight the Fire.

Fever Dream

it turns out i don't work tonight. huzzah. what shall i do? maybe go work out, because i know i need to *pokes fat* ;p. work in a few pictures in photoshop. practicar guitar. read the bible, pray, worship. there's a lot. i could go up to school and see if they'll let me have the schedule i want. ... well... haha. i could. -- myspace blog

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I was just wandering around town earlier. Scratch that. I was driving out to the DH to lift some weights. My mind was wandering. It has been doing that a lot lately. It seems I've found myself in an interesting place. As time has gone by, I've grown older in years, and I've learned a few new tricks, but I've lost what it really meant to be me. I've lost what really matters. Love.

It's not just me. I think a lot of people have lost it. But how I envy those who still have it. I am jealous, in that I wish I could feel it, too. Sure, there are people around me who show me things, and smile when I'm there, but it's when I'm not there that things go south. It is the fact that I've found myself in league with people who don't do things for their friends -- for the ones who've done things for them. It is the fact that I've found myself distant with the ones I had first fallen in love with; I think that breaks my heart the most.

I can admit that people change. I've done it; others do it, too. Once I was asked if I had any regrets. I couldn't be sure at the time. By no means did I deny that I had any, and so instead claimed an unknown many. Now I remember why I've been sad. I regret that I've had such problems with God. I regret that I'd walked away from the Church two years ago. I regret that prior to that I slowly and quietly edged farther away from the people who really did care.
The distance that connects us brings me to tears when I think on it, and those tears come spilling over when I realize that it was my fault; that I did nothing to prevent it, and instead urged its occurence.

People cannot live in the past. It is from the past that we learn, and build today for the future. It is in worrying for the future, and wallowing for the past that Man finds his demise. But what have we of the time that is called Today?
"Encourage each other day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin..." [Heb.3.13|NASB]
Are we not meant to be Lovers? And even those who love still pine for its return.

I long for a friend who is by my side as I am by his. Loyal, and honest. Caring and true. A Jonathan for a David.

I'm With the Band

I'm at Brady's pad with Peanut, and they're just jammin' out right now. If I had a recording of the thing, I'd post it on here, but I do not.

Alas. [a cornucopia of love]... er... just the alas will do.

Anyway. These guys rock my socks off... which isn't ever a bad thing. Peanut's blog can be found here; Brady's here. well... I'll get those worked out soon :]

addendum:

Active links have been embeded leading to where I mentioned above. If those don't work, or you're too lazy to scroll down to this post every time, well... bookmark them. Or just click on the sidebar. geeze. :][1230|7.10]