Resolutionary

Mas aún que esto te amo -- Te Amo, Alexander Acha

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I find myself at the in the beginning stages of a new year with nothing but the same hopes and dreams that have been left unfinished since their creation, in some cases many years ago.

What do I hope to gain from this next year of my life, wherein I find myself still college-less, and another year older; still poor, and still in the city I have grown to hate more than sickness or poison?

I've managed to change on ething about me somewhat over the past years, and that is doing things for myself. I've noticed, however, that I'm able to see into the heart of matters that concern just that: my heart. Though, this fact having been changed, it hasn't done much for changing my opinion on such topics, nor has it granted me the ability to say no to others and actually do what I already know I need to do for myself.

I've fallen in love with a slue of people I cannot, and I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of... and even that admission does nothing to help me. My heart finds itself in still a more ragged state than before, if just more easily sorted through. Why can't I change who I am in this respect?

If you love someone, why can't you show that love for all it's worth? Why do we have to hide our emotions, and why do some people not realise the kind of damage and control they have over another? Why is it that I keep finding these fantastic people whom I cannot be with, and lines are crossed over and over again? Am I the only one with decency? Am I the only one with the Sight for such boundaries?