Dear Diary

Today, Master Carroll let me out of my cage, and he took me to the park to chase the small animals.

It was fun.

I'm going to go find some honey. Yum. Honey.

Love Love Me

Everybody's gunna love today
Anyway you want to
Anyway you got to -- Love Today, MIKA

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Aside from the fact that I've been going-going-going for the past several days, I've been somewhat at ease with the things I've previously put into words. There are things that I still haven't quite come to terms with, and new troubles arise at the horizon each day that goes by, but as I suppose I've only to wait until they are closer before I can truly deal with them effectively.

I don't quite know what to say about my situation right now. It's... sufficient. I've had a lot on my mind about the past, about the city I ran away from. When I consider it that way, I wasn't really running away from that place, but coming back to the home I left first. There are still a lot of questions from what went on there, and what had happened to me in this desolate wilderness I love so many years ago. I've also thought about what I have learned from the things I've experienced; how they've shaped me for better or for worse, and whether I feel the shape of my spirit, soul, and body alltogether is anything worthy of what I have to accomplish later. What kind of person am I today that is better than the person I had been before? Surely, older, more responsible, but what about my ethics? What about my morals; my standards? Do they reflect the person I want to be? I've asked a good friend of mine, on several occasions, what he had to learn from his experience as a vagrant, and he's had quite an interesting bit to say.

In a world where the human race... rather, the American mindset is to keep going until you drop, or suddenly wake up and find yourself famous, it is more than apparent that anyone could quickly lose track of whatever goals he or she has set for the future. He had told me how in his mind, he has a specific person, one he envisions himself as being, but it's presence, it's realness, is still a long ways off. I suppose that's what can be expected of anyone, and it should, in fact, be more like what we all are looking for. I, however, for one, have let the subliminal pressures of modern-day American society change me for a different man. I can't say for sure whether or not it is improper, or alltogether wrong, yet neither can I say to you that it is the way we should be.

If there is anything any man should do, it's to live his life without interruption or misdirection per some other party. His should be a life that is created with a goal and a standard for measurement all his own, and while molded as it is by the experiences he gains from others, it should by no means be reason enough to deter him from his desired path.

That's what I'm learning. I suppose, to be more succinct would be to say "I'm learning to live for God and myself only; not to be pushed aside, into mindless service to the careless and scornful desires of men."