A Quick Note

"...'I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.'"
[Hebrews 13:5 NASB]

Ruidoso: Part I

An amazing experience.
What started out as being something I wasn't quite prepared for, and to be honest, something I was more than slightly apprehensive about participating in, turned out to be something so much greater than the weekend retreat I had casually assumed it would be.

There is nothing to say that I was not excited about. I needed a stronger connection with God with the rest of them. I yearned for this weekend to happen, but what I got was more than what I bargained for. I guess you could sum that all up with the Sacrifice on the cross; more than what we bargained for. And in the end, I'm definitely greatful. I'm in awe.

Friday began somewhat strangely. The day before had not been what I would have called "something great." Work had gone crazy, and it didn't help enough that I had the devil whispering his weavings into the back of my mind. Friday morning came with something of a relief as everything seemed to be working out well. Still, I couldn't help but feel a strange sort of dissonance as our destination drew steadily nearer. With one-way tensions still flying high, and the lying words of the devil still fresh on my mind, I began to feel lonely, and I began to worry. Now that I am able to look back on it, I can see that it was this worrying that kept me from gaining any feeling of acceptance earlier than I had, but I know that God worked no matter my personal disposition.

I'll keep out most of the things that happened Friday night; in part, they are only things that distract from the power of God as His plan begins to unfold. And, though it is obvious, it should be said that the workers of the field, or the actors in this play, were being drawn and set up in their appropriate positions.

Question (from last night)

It is late, again. Or it is early, rather.

I don't fully understand what man's desire to stay awake into unnatural hours of the night is these days. The natural process our body goes through peruse of melatonin and light changes has long since been abandoned, I suppose. How much happier and healthier would we all be if we stopped using electricity? Of course, there would be a lot of problems eager to arise. Still, could they honestly be considered problems? Imagine what it was like before electricity. Were there problems involving the lack of electric power then? No, not necessarily. So why now? I suppose it is because we have grown adapt. Evolution aside, adaptation is the key to the human race today. And the human race, the key to the changes in environment. Furthermore, changes in the environment are keys to the mysteries of modern animals and atmosphere.

But go back to the beginning of that; notice that the adaptation of man is at the beginning. Think about where man came from.

Do you ever find yourself wondering: did God give up on us? Is he just punishing us for our misdeeds?

No, and maybe, respectively. If God had "given up" on mankind, we most likely would cease to exist. Evil existing in the world as punishment for our sins... well, it seems to me that it is possible. Not all evil, mind you; still, God is a just and righteous God...

Strange... All that from electricity.

My Confession

Time moves so slow here; sometimes I wonder if it even exists at all.
The sun rises and sets on its own free will. Days, or what we could come to call them if time truly is in lack, change as swiftly to night as water rushes down a cliff; at times, I forget there was ever any day at all. The nights stretch into what most call tomorrow, but what is tomorrow if I cannot remember yesterday. My concepts of one circadian rhythm to the next have been thrown askew by the horrible arrangement I have my priorities in. Where does my allegiance lie? Whom do I trust? Who am I?

I am a tired man who believes too easily, yet trusts a fair few; I am a man whose darkened visage sheds light on the tired battle that is already long since begun inside his heart. A man who has made his King a thing that will surely fade.