I don't have time... -- Sand in My Shoes, Dido
I'm tired of making decisions. I know, it's what life's about, but I'm tired of it. Shouldn't the decisions I've already made have had some significant effect on what's happening now? The only thing I can see is that I'm poor, I'm broken physically and mentally, I'm alone, I'm fighting with school... and I'm wishing that I never left home.
The big one now is do I still go to school? Do I change and go home? Do I try to quit school and find a different job? It's all so daunting, really. I don't quite know what I'm supposed to say to any of this.
I don't know what to do.
There's that phrase again -- the one thing in my vocabulary that I can be sure of. So I turn to others: "What's three reasons to live here?"
The best answers are usually two of everyone's; the beach, and the weather. I could agree with those. But the next answer usually involves something like people, and I definitely could do without some of these people around here. Friends? Hardly. A bare minimum, and not enough to keep me wanting more. Family? Not really any family that I would want to suffer myself any more than they are for me. I know that sounds cruel, but it's honest; like I've said, I've been burnt by nearly every family member I've got here that can afford to do so...
If you want to get in touch with me via telephone, just click this link and call me -- it goes straight to my phone, and if i can't answer, just leave a message. :D
1 comment:
I am so very tired too. I appreciate your happy thoughts and hugs and send many in return-
I also envy you dear, for you've taken a chance and gone somewhere new and are trying. I am still here; never gone, comfortable in the life i've set up for myself.
Isn't it funny that its the opposite lives we've allowed ourselves to fall in step with, that bring us so much pain and confusion?
I hope that things work themselves out, they have a way of doing that, sometimes.
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