My Heart Is...

pounding,
failing,
hurting,
tearing.

you were in a dream of mine recently, but I don't remember what it was about.

I stayed up late to learn that tonight was the time to move our clocks back, but that wasn't why I did it. I did it because I wanted to see an episode of BLEACH and see what I was missing out on, but when I turned the channel, Cowboy Bebop was begining, and its song called out to me, because it was "Adieu".

And I was entranced, held to watch what I had forgotten about for so long, against my will. And Julia was there, and I felt... strange, dizzy.

And I came to tell you, and Julia was there, and her picture, and her song, and your voice, and I feel... strange. I don't know what it means; maybe I'm just nostalgic, and in pain for a place to belong the way we did in the past.

I'm sorry for being an ass; I know I've hurt you a lot, and I can't promise I wont hurt you again... but, you know, I do wish we could be friends agian. Or at least talk more often, maybe that's what I mean. You're the only person I could never run away from, despite all my threats and shortcomings.

I've got a blog again :: koabal85.blogspot.com .
It's not like the old days, but maybe it's safer? There were a lot of things we were naive to back then, but maybe we were full of hope. These days I feel... I don't know, darker; empty even. Even if the two of us could not be sure of where we were going, we could be sure we were going somewhere together. So... yeah... I'm sorry.

And I hope everything is going right for you.

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A letter to an old, dear friend.

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