I still feel empty.

On a brighter note, I managed to get some money into debt pool and now it is significantly reduced for a period of time. We'll see how well that all goes... though I can't help but feel some strange sigh of satisfaction at myself.

---

I think a lot lately. I drive around, down the city streets, and I find myself wondering what life would be like had I been somewhere else... you know, before all this happened. All this. ... Even still, as I raise my hand to gesture towards the list of things I wish had never happened to me in the past six months... in the past two years, I can only stop to think about what kind of ignorant child I'd still be had it not. Though I can no longer feel content with the kind of life I've been leading -- stressed to the marrow by the dire straits inflicted by my more dear loved ones -- I do think it is somewhat a comfort to know that I'm me, still; me in all the mess, and when anyone looks in my direction, that is what they will see.

Hard to follow? A new friend has said it as "genuine."

John::You're... I don't know... Don't be offended or wierd, but you're genuine. Honestly genuine. From the moment I shook your hand, I felt relaxed, and I knew it, in my heart. I knew that you were genuine, and there aren't many of you, if a handful.