Careful

Oh oh subete wo ukeireru nante
Shinakute ii yo -- Deep River, Utada Hikaru

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Is it that I'm older and that I know what could go wrong if I let the wrong thing slip, or is it that I've lived in a land where manipulation is a highly-treasured skill? Sure, I've gained a lot here in Texas, and I would be wrong if I told you that I never learned such a skill while growing up; in fact, it seems like that's the most valuable skill they taught at my school -- that and how to cut someone down, either in front of them, or by backstabbing. Math, Literature, Science, sure the usual was taught, but the social factor was on a completely different level.

There are things that I run across every day, and when I see the people they could involve, I have to make the executive decision as to whether or not I should be so willingly an informant. It's not that I don't like people; on the contrary, anyone who knows me -- I mean, really knows me -- knows that I love people a lot. Perhaps it is more of the idea that I don't want anyone to get hurt by me. I think another factor is that it seems people here take things way too seriously. I can remember some time ago when a guy asked if I took myself too seriously. At the time I had said no, but as the years go by, I wonder if he was right? Perhaps I did. And perhaps it was a bad thing, but I felt sure it was a good thing. You should never let yourself be pushed into doing things that are against your beliefs. On the same token, you shouldn't let things get to you. What other people do is what other people do. What has happened is just that -- you can't go back and change it, you can only move forward. So with all that said, I don't know what else to say.

It was only recently that a few secrets were revealed to me in strictest confidence. I won't pass them on to anyone, because no one need know them, but it was that series of events that brought this chain of thought about. That and the fact that the people I really came back for see me as a better person, and the same person, and nothing worse. They share the same love that I have for them for me, and we've picked up right where we left off; so there's nothing I worry about. Well, except for getting a home.