Closer

I want to be with you now -- Final Distance, Utada Hikaru

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I finally found a place to live, and though it's not the best place, and it's a little shifty, it's home, and it's not here, where I am now... There are only a few days until I move in there, and I'll keep my eye out for another job, too, but we'll see how that goes...

School starts soon... I've gotta buy books.
And I somehow feel alone, again, after all this, and after all the friends I'm making, I still don't see a change.

I broke down and cried the other day. Cried; can you believe it? Sometimes I have felt that it was something that needed to happen, but I could never bring myself to do it, and then, while I was on the phone with my mother, it just happened. And I was relieved in a way. I was glad to be rid of those feelings building up inside of me with no place to go. I was glad to let it out, and I think my mother understands. I feel lighter, now, but empty. I didn't feel immediately better, though, when it happened, but I think it's growing on me. It's the way of things here.

I miss the skies in Texas. I miss the clouds, the ever-changing weather made me feel more secure about my consistent one-track life. But...

One day at a time, I guess, right? I'm closer now, to where I need to be, and I think that's a good thing. One step closer; one day at a time...