26th

Bones sinking like stones,
All that we've fought for;
Homes, places we've grown,
All of us are done for...--Don't Panic, Coldplay

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Christmas was yesterday in the United States (I don't know how it goes for the rest of you Earthians).

• Byrd knife
• Hand held car vacuum
• Digital audio recorder
• Insulated pea cote (very nice -- Merona)
• Maxtor 200Gig external hard drive (bought myself)
• Love Actually (also bought myself, finally... I love that movie)

Humble, but thoroughly enjoyable. Mostly because I am resting, and not working for a day in my life, and that is amazing.

I graduated from junior college earlier this month, and it's strange. I thought things would be different; I thought that I would feel different, but I feel the same way that I felt when it all began. I feel... bound to something I cannot see, and every day I think about it, I have to put it out of my head.

Tonight, this afternoon -- at sunset, I ran out to throw some garbage out, and the air was clean. That is something for this place. There was no dirt, and even though there lingered the smell of firewood burning on some distant hearth, as well as the faint scent of gasoline exhaust from a passing car, the air was soft. Drinkable; like water. I wanted it all. I took in as much as I could of it. I cried in my Spirit -- I'm sure of it. I don't know what else I could call it... I talked with God, Spirit. I told Him how beautiful it was. How I never wanted it to end, as I felt the warmth of the glowing sunset reflecting of the few thin clouds lingering over the horizon -- their wispy, thin bodies glowing like fire.

I said how He was so much more beautiful, and how I could want it forever, if my heart could only learn to love it truly. And I sighed and went inside. The horrible dilemma of human flesh, tainted by the sin of the first Adam, and, though freed by the Second Adam, left to its own diabolical devices and destructive dichotomies.