In A Dream

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them, and we help them in return... -- For Good, Wicked

---

I don't know what it was exactly that caught my attention last night in my dream, but whatever happened, I find myself reminiscing about the past friendships I have had over the past year. And, to be honest, there aren't many. The one that sticks in my head the most is my supposed -- and I don't use that word lightly -- friendship with one of three in particular. At the beginning of this year, there were two guys who came into my life. It may make sense to you if I told you that they were the same person, in a way, but different. With them, there was another guy, but he would not show up until later. I spent six months with these guys. Six months being friends, or at least, that's what I thought. At the end of that six months, I found out how wrong I was.

The saddest part about it, though, is that I knew there was something wrong around the middle of the third month, and still, for some stupid reason, I continued in that friendship. I continued to pursue something so trivial, and I absolutely refused to give up. This gave rise to such problems as I would never have thought myself capable: insomnia, severe depression, anorexia. Yet I continued on, in the face of all these warnings. I think, though, it came to the point that I didn't know what else to do. Due to situations in my past involving lost friendships, there existed inside me then, and even now, a yearning to make things right with all people. And so I kept on, ignoring the fact that my body wasn't keeping up with my will; ignoring the fact that my heart was already being torn to shreds.

Everyone has a reason for being in our lives, and we can learn things from anyone. That is something to keep in mind. I learned a lot from those guys. Even though I may have spent too much at the time, I feel I got away from it all with a vast amount of knowledge that I intend to use.