I always have problems with Journaling. It seems to be something I really want to do, and I try to do it often but when it comes down to which journal type to use, whether it be online or private in some book, I have problems. My frist online journal was with OpenDiary. I was very proud of that journal, and of the community that had grown up around me and my things, but it also came with a lot of problems and a lot of responsibility. One thing was that I was very open with what I was saying, and the people who read it were quite often in danger of being hurt. While I usually leave things like that up to the readers discretion, I was not too bothered by things like that. What was more important was the fact that after two years, the things I was saying were becoming noticably more taboo. Not that they had not been in the first place, but more that the people who were reading my entries made that so. There was nothing blocked to me, no door closed in the topics that I covered, and because of that freedom, I reviewed those with a mature and level head.
It was when the information found its way into the hands of the wrong people that things got... out of hand, if you will. It came down to the point that a friend's family was reading my blog and using it against both her and I, and in the end, just her, which isn't right. I never meant for something so personal and coveted to me to be transformed into something so violently dangerous for someone I cared for. It was in those days that I was more innocent that I am now.
The reason I'm writing about this is because I'm in a creative writing class. We are being instructed to get our own personal journal to write in at all times. The idea of having a more transportalbe version of my journal is very appealing to me, but I miss the idea of such a large audience possiblity that I am granted when writing online. Another downside to the blog is that in this particular version of blogging, there aren't privacy levels. Perhaps one day they will be installed... I have seen quite a few things change around Blogger.com since I first became involved, but I do miss the old days of OpenDiary. At any rate, what I'm trying to say is I'm not sure what to do. There are things I need to say, and journal about, that I cannot and absolutely will not say online ever again. The song I posted a line from at the top of this entry has the ambiance of how I'm feeling: confused and nostalgic.
If you want to get in touch with me via telephone, just click this link and call me -- it goes straight to my phone, and if i can't answer, just leave a message. :D
1 comment:
remember chewy lollilops? That was how we "met". I do miss the old days of OpenDiary.... when did we have to grow up?
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