In Days

He is the subject of their talks... -- Daydreamer, Adele

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I realise it's been days since I've made an actual post -- weeks, even. Let's face it. My excuse is the same as it always is: I've been busy. Sure, work is one thing, and free time another, and I seem to blend the two while using a secret skill where I avoid doing anything truly productive. Blogging? It's practice! I practice my writing here, which... well, which I might use someday?

Although, it does seem lately, when I do write, I can't seem to think of what it was that made me sit down and say "ah-ha!" Like it doesn't matter anymore, but at the moment it had occurred to me, it had seemed so profound. Everyone will love to hear this! It's so profound, I thought to myself.

Of course it's not. Of course it isn't important enough to remember. I have been working a lot lately. That makes sense. Perhaps that in itself is the issue; not that I have been working, but that I have been using that as an excuse to not write what I have in mind? Perhaps...

There's a boy at work with whom I've grown particularly angry. Annoyed might be the better choice though. He has been found hypocritical in his work by more people than myself, and that includes the manager. It gets better. I may be there to see his direct undoing, and rejoice in stepping up onto his newly vacated throne. That sounds terrible, and it is. It's as terrible as I can make it out to be, because there's no soft way of saying it. When a branch is dead, cut it off. At any rate, it may not be me if it does happen, and it may not happen at all, but I do hope it does, and I know I'm not the only one.

Working For It

Daydreamer sittin' on the sea;
Soakin' up the sun
He is a real lover of makin' up the past... -- Daydreamer, Adele

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I was having a conversation with :iconstudpup: recently and it came upon finances and why I'm stuck in Texas right now, instead of on the West Coast. He agreed that everyone needed to work on finances, and that keeping goals for getting away in our minds was a good thing.

I agree with him; of course I do. But... The big issue is that I feel like everyone else is getting these experiences and I'm not, and that they just keep going and doing their own thing and that I'm stuck doing this one thing that I don't particularly like!

I want to be able to go across the world and visit foreign lands and see sites and be at peace and truly feel like a working cog in the contraption of life, Earth, and the universe... but I haven't been able to. Recently (like last night) an issue came up between a couple of friends and I about how they are going to Chicago to visit a dear friend, whom I've wanted to visit since he left... I felt jealous and hurt... Why, though; I've asked myself that, and what I should have done, though my reaction of "Wow, I hate you guys; Merry Christmas" seemed appropriate, and got the point across... I got invited, and everyone is even okay with the whole event, but still... I don't want to just up and leave and drop all my fiscal responsibilities on the floor while I'm gone. At the same time, and this is a very big issue for me, I don't want to not be there celebrating New Years with my friends. And I do miss Will (the one who lives in Chicago) so very much. I don't want to be that douche-bag who isn't going... I don't want to be the douche-bag who is, either.

I can't begin to explain how very much it pains me to have to even consider such a choice... I know what I should do for myself; I know what is right for me. But, for the conversation's sake: what should I do?

Neologism

A neologism (from Greek neo = "new" + logos = "word") is a word that, devised relatively recently in a specific time period, has not been accepted into a mainstream language. By definition, neologisms are "new", and as such are often directly attributable to a specific individual, publication, period, or event. The term "neologism" was coined in 1803. -- the Wiki

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I've been well known for creating my own set of words for things that I think are real words. Another way to describe this is malapropism. I think it's a healthy learning experience that many people face, but many are afraid to point out to them, or that the misuser of modern language is afraid of his- or herself. One reason is that such a common mistake can be connected to Psychiatric diseases such as thought disorder or schizophrenia. While I'm pretty sure I don't have either of those, I do find the possibility enlightening (haha... yeah... intended).

All that aside, I've found this page which I think you might enjoy reading. I know I did. I used the word super-objective in a poem I wrote as a kid, and I was certain I'd heard the term before, though I suppose it was just entering its Unstable stage, and quite rare. I can't recall where it was I picked it up, however I'm proud to pass it on.

http://www.illiante.com/SuperobjectiveEvil.aspx

Problems

I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind...
Well, even the best fall down sometimes,
And even the stars refuse to shine... -- Collide, Howie Day

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I've some time on my hands, and the majority of that has been spent wondering what to do with it. I see things that I need to do if I want to advance in my life, and I see things that I'd like to do for fun, as well as things that could help me with the advancement. Of course, what do I choose but the fun, and not the business. Perhaps I should grow a mullet? At least then I'd be putting business first.

....
No. That's a terrible thought. Forgive me for speaking it aloud.

I do find myself, still, having trouble concentrating on the task at hand, whether it be writing a few poems for Literary Journals to publish, or writing a few pages in my stories to get done with what needs to be done. And why? What is the deal with my priorities? I like them the way they are, sure, but whenever I get off work, all I can seem to want to do is lounge about and play video games. I've been able to keep away from the computer and television for some amount of time, lately, though it becomes a problem when I want to write, and by the time I get on my computer to do so, I go and get distracted by the game link nearby. Perhaps I should do away with it all together? Or perhaps not... let us not get too hasty, now, eh?

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Just an excerpt from my livejournal.com blog. I've way too many of these things to manage, but I haven't quite decided what to do with all of them yet. I know I'd like to keep my xanga. That one is for poetry at least. This one I've kept about for the in-and-out drama of life in general, and for dreams, though I've not done much of either of those for you guys here lately. I suppose I should get to work on fixing this issue, or at least the problem with writing more. I figure if I can fix that desire, then at least I'll be back into the habit, and that's all I really need, right? I hope so.

The Battleground

I fly like paper
I get high like planes -- Paper Planes, M.I.A.

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I find it odd that the local popular coffee-locale is the current battleground in the war waged between the Pious and the Gay. Perhaps not openly, and perhaps not even openly to either faction, though it remains quite obvious to the workers and "conscientious" observers that the two side vie laudably for space both inside and out; and the glares and side-ways glances from one front line to the next shout the subconscious feeling loudly.

Other than the war in Morality, there is the war in my own life of duty. I've a lot to do on my plate, and I've recently come by the time to do it, by way of quitting my serving job. Sure, I know what you're thinking, and believe you me, I'm thinking the same thing as well. However, and quite unexpectedly I might add, I've recently been conscripted to create several articles of clothing for those very same Neutrals at the coffee locale. I'm content with that. Therefore, not working as much, and deciding what I get to do with all the unadulterated free time I am now allotted, is something I'm feel I'm growing quite enamored with. I should hate to lose it so quickly. Though I mustn't complain, should it ever occur, for it is as they say: "Like sand through the hourglass". Or, do they say that?

True enough, I'll soon find myself picking up more hours in the long run, looking to turn my golden time into some form of splendor more profitable, especially when it comes time to pay the bills.

So good night from me, and a good night, indeed.

Another 9/11

So this picture to the left of me is from Dattebayo.com -- the best place for fansubbed material, insofar as it is what they choose to work on, which happens to correspond to what I like to watch... ah, I digress. The point is, it's from there, and you can clearly see their icon in the picture (note red circle). I thought the picture was keen and well-placed, as it can be seen in the upper-left-hand side of their main page.

I know what you must be thinking: "How uncouth!" But allow me to present to you their journal over the subject: "DB Celebrates the Passing of Another 9/11".

I agree with what they say, and it seems right that by this time we should be over the tears of this subject. I by no means want this to be a painful thing for anyone, as I, too, had family involved in the incident, though they were spared. Please don't think I'm being insensitive, either, when I say these things, but they're right; we should be happy we've gone another year without incident, and rejoice at how much stronger it has made us, and the changes the event is still bringing about today.

So think on that, and be happy, and realize that we've all grown a little in the past 7 years.

The Weather Outside

I bought an old home in Del Rio... -- So-So, Brooke Waggoner

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I've been back from the race and the subsequent vacation for a couple days now, working every step of the way. Though, when I was lucky enough to find some off-time, and not being doing errands, I spent my time resting up and trying to recover the state of my health.

Today has been a wonderful experience. I went to bed early, I slept in late, and I feel great compared to what it has been. The weather outside when I rose was somewhat dark and cloudy, and I could tell by my few furtive glances through the window-blinds that there was a soft and gentle music resonating sweetly on the wind. I do have to work tonight, and that makes me sad, somewhat, but mostly because of the weather outside. I had figured that by the time I got around to walking out to work, I would find a wave of heat rising up to greet me, but instead it has just been clean, cool air rustling a playful hand through my hair.

Perhaps I should be happy that the weather is finally turning, and that for once, it seems the seasons might turn in the old fashion they used when I was a child? Still, it does rub me wrongly that I have to go in and work on a beautiful afternoon like this. It's not often that the heart of Texas sees such beautiful weather...