If You Want It Just Ask...

I'm lost without you;
I cant help myself.
How does it feel
To know that I love you, baby? -- Lost Without U, Robin Thicke

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I dashed off to work and, for some reason, I had a lot of energy tonight. It wasn't such a bad thing, though I think my internal mechanisms were messed up due to the way I slept last night on that poor couch; it was one or the other for a bed, and neither are heavenly.

After work, I went to play some pool, but all I could think about was Taani.

I'm not a stalker. I swear upon whatever book they put under your hand these days, and if you don't believe me, well that's not my problem, because I know what I mean, and life goes on.

But I think about just spending time, hanging out, and really getting to know each other... while I'm sober. While we're sober. I just want one chance..., but... would that one moment really change anything for either of us? Would it just make me more addicted to the idea of it all, and nothing ever be accomplished?
It's likely.

But I still would want the chance...

It's not such a bad thing. I am around other people, and I'm stronger, because of it all. I don't fall prey to such simple seductions, because I feel like I'm waiting for something better. I know what I want in a partner, and I know that I can wait for it.

but it hurts my heart to think i may never get the one who began it all