Unable

Ki ni naru noni kikenai
Oyogitsukarete kimi made mukuchi ni naru
Aitai noni mienai nami ni osarete
Mata sukoshi tooku naru
Togirenai you ni keep it going baby
Onaji kimochi janai nara tell me
Muri wa shinai shugi demo
Sukoshi nara shite mite mo ii yo -- Final Distance, Utada Hikaru

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Wake Me Up ...

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I haven't been able to watch this video. It's twists my heartstrings for some reason, as soon as it starts playing. Perhaps it's opening a door to a part of me I had long forgotten; the Love that resided there pushed aside like an old doll. Perhaps It remains, waiting for the day its lover would return? Or do I just feel a loss at my own circumstances? Do I miss their comfort and their love? Am I lost and alone like I feel?

I do feel lost and alone...

Seeing this.... thinking about it... and just seeing it sitting there, waiting patiently like the doll left behind, I feel the need to spend time with God. I mean, really feel it, like I hadn't felt it in ages; in years. I can feel the distance I have let grow between Him and I, just as the distance between Mike and I... I think that's it... I should stop for now, or I don't think I will be able to escape again for a while...