Monday Morning

Our God is an Awesome God

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The air today is clean. Some radical mixture of moisture and purity: things you don't smell too often here. The memories it brings to life. It reminds me of the ocean and of California as a child, but most of all, it reminds me of those times I spent in the mountains, and in San Antonio for some reason. It smells reassuring, and peculiarly positive. There is nothing quite like it. The cool air blowing on my face, and wildly ruffling my hair brings back to the times when all was youthful innocence. To the times when we were allowed to go out and do our own thing without any fear of consequence. I remember the camps, the retreats, the missions, if there were only a few, and I miss them. My soul longs for them with quiet passion, slowly growing louder and louder as the day progresses. The more time I spend outside, I am reminded of the now seemingly incomprehensible ammounts of joy, and desire, and passion. How free I was then? How much more like a child? I had more to care for, more to desire for, and less to worry about. Surely, my struggles have changed little over the years; I still battle with what I despise the most. But there is more to worry over, more people than I can keep straight.

Back then, the small handful of lovers I had were enough to keep me going. We kept each other going, in the rough and in the smooth. There was nothing that came between us, until we grew older, more wiser, and isn't that the curse of ages? Wasn't that what set us apart from the Garden all those years ago? Wisdom, how lovely your features, how poison your kiss. To know you is to die, and to know Pain and Hurt as well...

I did not dream of work last night. How joyous an occasion this is! I dreamt of Cade, and Christie's song, "Julia", was on the radio, I think, and a few other random things, but I don't remember them now. I think I dreamt of the twins, and of Nate, and his father died... I should call him and see how he is.

I will go through the rest of my day enjoying this beautiful weather that God has sent to me.