She said, "I am...

falling
fading
drowning
help me to breathe...

You don't know how much I cried when I read this love...I had to smoke before writing this, because I miss you so much it hurts sometimes...

You've been on my mind non-stop since I met my new boyfriend...Tony is now the second friendship I've had that at all resembled the one I had with you (the first being Adam, my now former roomate)...

Besides telling Tony all these stories about my life,and the fact that many of the good ones involve you, I was looking for baby pictures to show him last night, and I found this:
http://i13.tinypic.com/2z8d9v5.jpg
http://i14.tinypic.com/2is8d4g.jpg
http://i13.tinypic.com/2s6t5ll.jpg

Maybe I'M just nostalgic, But I know this...You left a deep impression on my life...and a hole noone has been able to fill. You were the best friend anyone could ask for. You ARE the best friend anyone could ask for...I don't think you've been an "ass". We hurt each other a lot, helped each other heal, and though time and distance did everything they could, we are victorious.

Victorious how? Here is my proof and my point.

I've changed my mind about the army and I'm leaving for Mississippi on Wenesday. This decision was reached in one weeks time. Today, I have to tell my parents I'm leaving again...This time in a better situation, but it's still scary for them after the Sarah disaster. I have some kind of health problem causing my hair to fall out, i'm flat broke and I'm racked with guilt over my former drug abuse, former promiscuity, and worst of all, a miscarriage that has left me with nightmares every night ever since. I just got off the phone with Tony, I spent the night crying about how my life has gone wrong and how I've pushed so many people out of my world, and try as he might, he could not convince me otherwise.

As for you...

You were not looking for Adieu, you were looking for bleach (the chemical that is used to wash away stains, quite a metaphor if you ask me)....You came to tell me about it and it JUST SO HAPPENED that Tony asked me two nights ago to change the songs on my profile so he could hear more. I JUST SO HAPPENED to use Julia instead of My Heart, as originally planned.

You sent me this message right when I needed to hear it, and we now have a chance to regain a friendship that could potentially help us both get back a lot of what we lost. The timing was perfect. I don't believe in coincidence Dany. We are a success. Time, Distance, Anger, Pain, Seperation, Even lack of communication, are no match compared to the strong connection we built what now seems so long ago.

My love for you never died Daniel. It only grew. I don't know where I'm going, You don't know where your going, but I know a few places where I'm not going and you know a few places where your not going, together we know more than we know apart...and from what I've seen tonight, it's something beyond powerful.

I love you, Don't be afraid. I want to be your friend still, Seeing as how that hasn't changed in several years, I believe I always will.

-Chris

(so you know...[edited] the shaving of the head was not my choice...it started falling out, we think it's thyroid problems, but it could just be stress from moving away from Abilene, and the Remingtons picture was taken almost four months ago, back when I had hair *sad day*...at least Tony likes it. Punk. If I were to write a blog about you these days it would be full of I love you and I miss you, and none of that I hate you forever stuff...the difference? They have abandoned and given up on me forever...my friendship with you far surpasses that crap)

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A response...

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