"Scraping Paper to Document..."

I remember when the days were long, and the nights when the living room was on the lawn...-- Photobooth, Death Cab for Cutie [the DCfC Forbid]

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For the past bit of time, I've been feeling like I shouldn't belong where I do. Well... that's now how I've felt it was, anyway. I had been thrown into some sort of cataclysm: a chorus of creaking clockwork named Calamity...

But, in reality, there was no problem but mine own. I was where I was supposed to be, and in fact, I am still in a place that is probably better than any other place I had yet found myself in. Was it my own flesh fighting to flee the scene, seeking for a false freedom? I could see that, I consider that, I can accept it, too. You see, I'm not totally heartless as some people would lead you to believe. I've got my conscious still with one foot in the pool of goodness, but it becomes ever harder to stay its place.

With a sour turn of events from one week to another, a rise in the amount of money that has to leave my pocket, and a surprise death I was not informed of, Tuesday night and Wednesday morning transformed into two horrible monsters. And this trip to Dallas that I had been so keen on taking just to get away, became something I felt dragged into. And now, here I am, in a hotel room in northwest Dallas. It's nice to get away, but I feel I should be home. And I've not enough money to be doing the things that I am doing, and I feel a slight pressure over it all. Sure, to be honest, I don't feel as free as I thought I would. It's nice to sleep in a cold room, with a shower that's high enough for me to stand under (though I do miss the high pressure), and a bed that's clean and all my own, but...

But I feel wrong. As for the money situation, God has been helping me out a lot; a lot of things have been happening that have gained me a beautiful hand at work lately. There still exist flaws to my disadvantage, but how I take on those challenges is what will be interresting to watch. And money isn't really a problem if I manage to save and deposit it when I get the chance (as soon as I get the chance. So be in prayer that I can get some more shifts this weekend, because I only have one in the coming week, and that scares me.